Assurance

My heart has been given away. That is the best way I can describe it. When I was pregnant with my own biological children, I loved them before I ever saw them. I may be one or two years away from seeing our adopted child, but she is already in my heart and loved more than I can explain. Some days I feel an emptiness inside that longs for her. Then there are other days when I still long to hold her but realize God is asking us to be patient and all will come to be in his timing. A calling? I truly believe so. How else could I feel this way about a child I've never met. To be honest, there are days when I think about how different our family will look, how much more mothering work I will take on, and I think about the pure love and joy another child will bring, and how different the family of God must look as well. I know there are some people that question our adoption from China, a child of another race. But does race matter in God's eyes? Didn't he create us all in His image? Hasn't he loved us regardless of color and despite our shortcomings? Shouldn't I love children without even considering their color and culture? Some have also said they think it is a little scary to be adopting from China, aren't they rising to power and a communist county? What will they think about foreigners adopting their babies in years to come. Well I can't worry about that, all I can do is OBEY the Lord's calling and open my home to our daughter and love her as if she were conceived in me. And in many ways she was, she was conceived in my heart and loved before she was ever brought to this earth! The money? The cost? Why would I spend this much money on an adoption, especially considering how frugal we are to begin with? You guys don't have the money to put into this adoption, you won't even do this...go there...buy this...! I don't have those answers because they lay in the Lord's hands. He is providing this money, it is his calling and we are faithful to trust him. We will continue to pray that God will work in our family and friends hearts so that when our daughter is brought home she will be loved and received as if she were blood. Our assurance of God's will for us comes from Him, whom we faithfully serve.