America's Birthday

July Fourth is one of my favorite holidays. I have always been so proud of my heritage. Knowing my father and grandfather served our country in war as well as a new generation with my brother in law having been to war and still serving our country at home, I feel a strong sense of pride and connection to our nation. I am very opinionated about our country, as many are, and believe if you live here as an American you should respect our country and what it means to be an American. Millions of people flock to this country every year hoping for the chance to be an American Citizen. But somewhere half way across the world, a little Chinese girl is being born in her homeland and has no idea that somewhere half way across the world, an American family has prayed for her to become a part of their family in another country. This little girl has no idea about the country or culture she is being born into, and has no choice about whether she can stay in that country or be removed to live in a country foreign to her. Yet we know the conditions she is living in and we know the kind of life we can strive to give her. As an American I believe my country is the best to live in and can provide her with a better life. But as a mom, I know that her culture is so important to her and it will be my responsibility to celebrate the country that gave her life and the country that allows her to live a better life. Happy Birthday, America and thank you for the opportunity to bring my daughter home to her new country.

The Adoption Community

If there is one thing I have learned through the short time I've been a part of this process, it is that the people in the adoption community are some of the most supportive, caring, and big hearted people I've ever known. These precious individuals donate money, sky miles, quilt pieces for a 100 wishes quilt, hold yard sales and auctions to help others raise money and even send notes of encouragment and hope when someone is down. The most interesting thing is that they do not even know each other! However they all have a common bond, they have witnessed the miracle of adoption, either through their own adoption or a close friend or relative. Their unconditional love of a child they've never met is inspiring. Their devotion to the orphans of the world is hopeful. And their selfless giving of their resources and themselves is priceless. These orphans around the world may not have blood relatives, but they have one of the biggest extended families I've ever known.

I-171-H

This one piece of paper is all I need to complete my dossier. I got an email while away on vacation that explained that the US Citizenship and Immigration Services has relocated and changed officers and therefore has slowed the process in getting these forms processed and mailed out. I was disappointed because I thought I would have our dossier ready to send to our agency by the end of July. This places another wait on the already extremely slowed process and the way it looks, I may not be LID until September. It's in God's hands and not mine so I will just trust him.

Fear

Fear. Webster's dictionary defines it as "to be afraid or aprehensive". I heard Beth Moore define it through an acronym, fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Regardless of how you define it, fear takes hold of us at one time or another. When it does we have a choice, we can allow fear to dictate every step of our lives or we can use our faith in God to face it and overcome it. When God called us to begin this adoption I believe I originally became overwhelmed with fear. But God had a hold on my mind and heart and I knew I had a choice, to obey Him and face my fear or I could allow the fear to consume me and I would never see God's will fulfilled in my life. Fear can be positive. In the Bible we are told to fear God. The dictionary defines this type of fear as 'a reverential awe'. To fear the Lord is to recognize that he is holy, all powerful, almighty. Fear of God should cause us to be humble before him. Fear can also make us cautious but should never paralyze us. So when fear of the future of this adoption creeps up, I look to God and His Word. I cannot begin to tell you the number of times God said "Do not be afraid or terrified...". So I turn my fear over to him and pray for my child, her birth mother, the adoption process, the money to afford the adoption and for my family to accept my child as our own. Deuteronomy 31:6 Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Joshua 1:9 ...Be stong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. Genesis 26:24 Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Now that is something to put my faith in, God's Word assuring me that he is with me and I do not have to be afraid.

Welcome Home

I cannot imagine what international adoption was like years and years ago without the internet. A friend of mine jokes around with me about getting a Blackberry because at least five times a day we are checking the blogs for rumors surrounding the wait and the CCAA and also reading other families websites who are in China meeting their precious child for the first time. It's become quite an obsession. Another great thing about the internet is the ability to track my adoption paperwork as it gets mailed around the country. I've been doing just that with my birth certificate. So when the postman knocked on my door yesterday I knew just what he was bringing to me...my certified and authenticated birth certificate, complete with Chinese writing that is beyond my comprehension. I was so excited to have it back home I almost knocked him down with the door. I also knew it was going to contain Condoleezza Rice's signature. Pretty cool I thought. But upon further inspection I noticed that it was someone else signing for Condoleezza Rice. Disappointed for sure. But could you imagine your job everyday is to be Condoleezza's signature? Upon seeing my disappointment my very analytical, statistical husband did the math and said if only 1% of all Americans needed her signature on some document she would need to sign some absurd number of papers everyday. Anyways, I am just glad to have it back home, safe and sound. Now if only that I-171-H would arrive.

Father's Day

As Father's Day is rapidly approaching I have begun to reflect on the past 3 1/2 years when Jeremiah first became a dad. As new parents you have no idea what to expect out of your first child, being parents, and each other. But the minute that baby arrived into this world, Jeremiah became the second part of himself, the other half of the man I had prayed to God for over many years. He was already a great husband, but I could see in his eyes that greatness was just beginning. Some call it overprotectiveness, others call it being a crazed new parent, but I could see it for what it really was, pure love. Love similar to the love our Savior has for us, only we could never be so perfect. He would give anything for that child, even his own life. Just as quickly as I fell into postpartum, he jumped into every aspect of our child's life. He wanted to be a part of it all, from helping me learn to breastfeed to changing diapers, to even the loss of her umbilical cord. She spent her first night in this world cradled in his arms, and every night since, she would prefer to be right in his arms. It was no different when our second child was born, the same excitement was still there and the love only grew. He helped me juggle two young children, quickly helping with middle of the night feedings and taking ownership of housework. Upon my request he even made his precious dog, his unoffical first born, to sleep in the kitchen. I'm quite sure he struggled to balance a career, graduate school, and family life, but no doubt he made it look easy, always putting his girls first. He has never hid the fact that his family comes first, and I truly believe that his co-workers know that about him. Best of all, Jeremiah's heart is always striving to please God and raise a godly family. Even when I am tired and ready to put the children in bed he insists on family prayers and kisses which always includes a family devotion time. Jeremiah faithfully studies the Bible, looking for God's teaching to impress upon his chilren. When the children face a difficult situation, even at two and three, he teaches them to turn to God for help and answers. He stops to help others in need along the side of the road, hoping that one day his children will learn from his actions and help others in need, despite their skin color, economic level or religion. Words cannot even begin to express how loved our adopted child will be by her forever earthly father. I see the same love and excitement in his eyes when we talk about her as I did when we were expecting our two biological children. This new child in our family, not conceived from ourselves, but conceived in our heart, will not only be a blessing to our home, but will have her own life blessed by such a wonderful father. Thank you, Lord, for answering my prayers and giving me a godly husband and father who loves each of us unconditionally. "Love the Lord you God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorrframes of your houses and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6: 5 - 9

Just business

Jeremiah had his fingerprints taken on Wednesday. His experience wasn't as good as mine. It think it's because he already doesn't like having to deal with government offices. So now we are waiting on our I 171 H, our last piece of paperwork to be collected. We are really hoping to be LID by August. That means getting my act together as soon as that paper arrives in my mailbox. My birth certificate made it to the Chinese Embassy. That was a relief. I was worried about allowing the State Dept sending it there themselves but I guess they've done it many times. So I am waiting for it to return home as well. It is getting exciting for us, now that we are nearing the end of the paperchase. I can't wait to be LID, however we will be settling in for a long wait. But all in God's timing!

Assurance

My heart has been given away. That is the best way I can describe it. When I was pregnant with my own biological children, I loved them before I ever saw them. I may be one or two years away from seeing our adopted child, but she is already in my heart and loved more than I can explain. Some days I feel an emptiness inside that longs for her. Then there are other days when I still long to hold her but realize God is asking us to be patient and all will come to be in his timing. A calling? I truly believe so. How else could I feel this way about a child I've never met. To be honest, there are days when I think about how different our family will look, how much more mothering work I will take on, and I think about the pure love and joy another child will bring, and how different the family of God must look as well. I know there are some people that question our adoption from China, a child of another race. But does race matter in God's eyes? Didn't he create us all in His image? Hasn't he loved us regardless of color and despite our shortcomings? Shouldn't I love children without even considering their color and culture? Some have also said they think it is a little scary to be adopting from China, aren't they rising to power and a communist county? What will they think about foreigners adopting their babies in years to come. Well I can't worry about that, all I can do is OBEY the Lord's calling and open my home to our daughter and love her as if she were conceived in me. And in many ways she was, she was conceived in my heart and loved before she was ever brought to this earth! The money? The cost? Why would I spend this much money on an adoption, especially considering how frugal we are to begin with? You guys don't have the money to put into this adoption, you won't even do this...go there...buy this...! I don't have those answers because they lay in the Lord's hands. He is providing this money, it is his calling and we are faithful to trust him. We will continue to pray that God will work in our family and friends hearts so that when our daughter is brought home she will be loved and received as if she were blood. Our assurance of God's will for us comes from Him, whom we faithfully serve.